7 Severn

The Britannica Dictionary states: –

Distressed:
Feeling or showing extreme unhappiness or pain.
Somewhat formal: not having enough. Money: experiencing financial trouble.

Agonised:
Showing mental or physical pain or agony.

Hurt:
To cause pain or injury to (yourself, someone else, or a part of your body).
To be a source or cause of pain.
To feel physical pain.
To make (someone) sad or upset: to cause (someone) to suffer emotionally.
To feel emotional pain or distress.
To do harm to (someone or something): to affect (someone or something) in a bad or harmful way.

When experiencing distress, agony, or hurt. The symptoms can manifest both physically and mentally. As such. We should consider both, when looking to alleviate ourselves of the symptoms. The reason may seem obvious, yet it can be overlooked at times.

Yes we can correct our physical ailments – deal with aches, pains and broken bones. Once corrected, we begin to get back to some sort of normality in our lives. Most people leave it there. They put it down to life experiences and believe they’re now moving on.
Are they really moving on?

For some. Yes they are. Although for the majority, the answer unfortunately is no. They believe they are, yet there is some sort of attachment remaining. I know there are people who would say: “Well it’s only natural to have some reminiscences of what happened to us.” and that is true. So let’s look at that for a moment.

What you say about it, will determine the attachment – if any. So what are you saying about it? Do you always say the same thing and maybe elaborate more each time you do so – going into the finer details of what you’ve been through? Do you never tire of telling people about it and actually love to tell the story of it? If you are. Then you have mental attachment to it. You’re not moving on with your life and what’s more. You’re giving it power over you, you’re not in control. You’re keeping yourself in the grip of it because of the story you tell.

To put it another way. All we can ever be sure of having is right now. We cannot have yesterday – because it’s gone. We cannot  be sure of tomorrow – we haven’t got that far yet. You’re only real power is only ever right now. The power you have, is in the decisions and choices you make. Therefore. If – right now – you keep repeating on your past story of hurt. You give away all your power.

Let’s now look at a way where you may take back control and move on:

Start telling a different story. That’s not to say make something up. You should be truthful in your words and make it in the present tense.

If you must tell your story about the past hurt, you can bring it into the present whilst taking back the power.
For instance, say something like:

“There was a time when I went through (…). That was then and I’m glad it’s behind me. Right now, I’m working on (project/hobby etc.) and (I couldn’t be happier/things are looking up). Use words that suit your present circumstance.

Keep with this “new” version and pretty soon, you’re own belief will follow and you will bring about betterment in your life.

As ever. Should you find yourself in the midst of today’s topic of conversation and are in need of more formal and professional assistance or advice. Please seek it accordingly.

Thank you for reading.

Next week. We’re discussing: Shameful – Regretful – Guilty.